Perfection and Pity

Strange blog post title....and its a bit different from my norm. Usually I like to brag about how wonderful things are with Katie and how fantastic she is doing. Katie is wonderful, and an absolute blessing in my life. But she's not perfect.

From my earliest dreams of what parenthood would be like - I didn't imagine having a sick child. I know that sounds both selfish and naive - which I realize now - but its the truth. I never thought we would have to face surgery at 7 weeks, multiple EEGs, MRIs, and innumerable heath issues and doctors appointments.

Oh - and the helmet! I personally have gotten so used to the helmet that I often don't think about if/when its on/off. Then we go out in public with the helmet on......and I'm immediately reminded. Some people don't stare - but some nearly break their neck turning around to see what's "wrong" with our little girl. Sometimes we get looks or comments of pity. Those have to be the worst for me. I don't react very well to pity. That's probably because I'm a prideful person by nature. Part of it comes from the fact that - despite her helmet - Katie's a happy, beautiful, developmentally normal child. But all people see is the helmet.

If there is one truth in life - its that we ALL have flaws. Some physical and easily visible to the passing eye.....some not so easily seen. Katie may not be physically perfect, but she is perfect for me. Health issues, helmets, surgeries and all - I wouldn't trade anything in this world for being her mommy.

I grieve for Katie that she hasn't had a more "normal" early childhood. I wish there was something I could have done to prevent her from developing craniocynostosis and congenital scoliosis - avoiding surgery at 7 weeks, and the helmet for over a year. But, that wasn't the cards God dealt us. I can only hope that we've taken the right steps, made the right choices medically and that long-term things "normalize" for her. That's what I pray for now...

Matt was proof-reading this post and asked me "What prompted you to blog about this? Did someone say something/do something to you recently in public?" I said, no its just something I've wanted to share. Most of our friends have been fortunate to have "healthy" kids. But a few, like us, haven't had an easy path. I guess this post is for all the moms and dads who struggle with the "imperfections" of our children.

To end things on a lighter note - here is an amusing picture of Katie screaming. She was a little annoyed that I wouldn't give her the camera. Ha! I guess in some ways, she is a TOTALLY normal toddler, pitching a fit when she doesn't get her way. :-)