Saturday, September 15, 2012

The Art of Negotiation



Every day with a 3 year old is about negotiation.  Katie seems particularly adept at negotiating.  But since she's our only child, I don't have much to compare to.  I'm not sure if its a good sign or a bad one that I find myself negotiating so often with my 3 year old.  It could either mean that we are working to find some compromise......Or that I'm a total softy.  Negotiation takes patience!  Virtually everything I say during a given day is met with rebuttal and a counter offer.


These are some of our typical discussions...

In the morning...
[Me]     Katie, it is time to get dressed so let's go upstairs. 
[Katie]  No mommy I'm not ready to get dressed yet.  I want to stay in my nightgown a little while longer.  (She also says, but why do I have to get dressed?)
[Me]     Katie, I said its time to get dressed. Let's go.
[Katie]  Mommy, can I please have a few more minutes to play before we get dressed? 
[Me]     Okay, fine - 2 minutes....you get to play for 2 more minutes.  I'm setting the timer for 2 minutes.

After Dinner...
[Katie] Mommy, I've been a really good girl today so I think we should go to Sweet Frog and get a treat.  [Me]    No, we can't go to Sweet Frog tonight.  Maybe another time.
[Katie] Mommy, we have popsicles in the freezer - how about I get one of those for my treat?
[Me]    Well, you have been a good girl today.  I guess we can have a popsicles and eat it outside.

Before Bed...
[Me]     Tonight we are going to read 2 books before bed.  Please pick out which 2 books you would like to read.
[Katie]   No mommy, I want to read 5 books.
[Me]      Katie I said 2, not 5.
[Katie]   How about 3 books....I'll pick out 3.
[Me]      Okay, we will read 3.

*** How can you say no to a child who wants to read?


I realize as I read through these examples that I cave, quite often, to Katie.  I have found though that if I give her two extra minutes in the morning, for example, she is MUCH more cooperative with me.  If I don't give her the 2 minutes - it is an all out war of wills. 

Matt and I have noticed a decline in the "terrible twos" behavior.  (By terrible twos behavior I mean the defiance just for the sake of defying).  I don't know if the change is just a product of her getting older - or if it is because she's getting her way a good portion of the time - ha!

I want to give Katie everything she needs for comfort and development of a healthy self-esteem, but I don't want to flat out spoil her. Such a careful balance....and one I'm forever trying to figure out.

 


So, this last picture has nothing to do with the post....just Picture Proof that my Bug will climb ANYTHING!!!

 

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